It’s time to talk with your parent about senior living. But how? Even when we are close with our family, important conversations can be hard, and emotions can run high. If you’re worried your parent will resist making a needed change, this guide can help you prepare to speak calmly and with empathy about their concerns.
Use this guide to help you talk to your parent and help them see the benefits of a safer, more connected life.
WHAT THEY’RE SAYING AND HOW TO RESPOND
I’m managing fine, I don’t need that much help.
How to respond:
As the one who is helping you, I ask you to consider that you need more help than you think. What if you fell when no one was there and you couldn’t call for help? In senior living, people who know exactly what to do will be right there. Besides, wouldn’t it be nice to spend time with people besides me sometimes?
Can’t I just have somebody care for me at home?
How to respond:
We can, but you’d still be alone most of the time. I hate seeing you cooped up here when you could be out doing things like you used to.
I feel good most days, and I usually remember to take my medication.
How to respond:
I want you to keep having good days for a long time. Managing your medications and when to take them is getting harder and missing one could be dangerous. In senior living, someone will always remind you exactly which pills you need to take and when.
I don’t want strangers doing the housework. I won’t have anything to do.
How to respond
You deserve to be able to choose what you want to do and when instead of being dependent on others. And I want us to be parent and child again, instead of me being your nurse, housekeeper and driver.
I don’t want to move into senior living. Everyone there is old.
How to respond
The house is just too much for you to manage for us both. In senior living, you’ll have your own apartment, good food and interesting things to do every day. When you don’t have to worry about the house, or wait around for me to help you get ready when I can, you’ll actually be more independent than you are now.
It costs too much. You don’t want me to use up all my savings, do you?
How to respond
Actually, the cost of having someone come in to help you, plus all the living expenses you have now, would be about the same or even more than the cost of senior living. I have a worksheet that I can show you.
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